Shadow: A short story (part 1)

* I saw a shadow form on the ground and at my feet, It was in the shape of fear itself. The one who put fear into all our hearts much like a God, the apocalypse or death….. but worse much worse

You see, I’m not like you. I wasn’t born into a home, no smiling or joy was present when I was born. No one clapped, no one smiled, no one even cried when I was born. I was born alone, thrown from one end of nothingness but with no net on the other side. I walked one day and it might have been cool or amazing but no video exists of that day, there’s no music playing in the background that ties it all together . No one claimed me when I was born, there was no clamour for my kind, I was born the wrong day, gender, race or something . I’ve lived in an orphanage, It’s not pretty like you are told, there’s no regulation space between bunks. Annie must’ve had it good, but that bullshit did not matter in my life because no knight was coming for me, there were no musical number interrupting the dialogue. I learnt early on that there’s only you and them, we worked for them every other week, children were more agreeable to work and cheaper to maintain, they were easier to find too. They used our desperation and our need for belonging to lure us into some “extra work” and I wasn’t complaining,  i didn’t miss the silence of my room. I did what they asked, It didn’t matter what, we took, we claimed, we owned. Remorse didn’t matter unless It was required of me. If you didn’t like us, you were our enemy and we needed to protect ourselves before we were killed.

Ha, you don’t get it do you? Those things you just think you know, those things you feel are important to your person are optional. Everything is optional, right or wrong or smiling or laughing. What happens when your only truth is bad? What if you never made it to the part where you learn about consequences? Would you still sit there and judge me? I didn’t have the luxury of considering my actions, what I was told was my truth. It is my only life, it’s all I know. Truth is not as objective as you think, you know. It’s not a self-determining entity, it’s not stoic. Truth is in experiences, It is perspective and not everyone stands atop this dark city at night. So excuse me if some of us cannot afford your truth

You’re all high and mighty sitting on your throne and looking down at me thinking you’re making a difference. I’m one of many that were chosen, those fortunate to be saved from fear and loss and pain. You think I’m stalling do you? I wouldn’t talk to you If I was, I can be quiet.

You think you can hurt me? Once you’ve made peace with death, the rest doesn’t matter, they are moot points. I’m ready to go, if you’re ready to take my life. If you’re too chicken to do it, one of these criminals will jump at the opportunity,they probably have had things taken by me . It’s kind of their fault for having feelings and standards, these are things I’ve never had and I never will.

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