Everytime I take off my shirt to clean my body, I have to confront a new set of facts that I had before. I had slept like myself once again and had run in my dreams and flown the skies above me. In my life however real or fake I had become bigger, bulkier, fatter and I think of how sad that makes me. I guess it’s a longer story for another day, how I got here and how I had become this grotesque caricature of who I once was.

I opened my brother’s locker to see if he had an extra pair of clean socks that I could borrow to put on. I found not what I was looking for, I saw a souvenir from our last trip to Paris. It was a drawing of him by a caricature artist, he had stopped my brother and ostensibly the whole family to ask if he wanted himself drawn for free. He obliged as he does and sat in the same spot for five minutes, he asked him what he enjoys doing. “Playing football”, he replied as the artist continued to scribble away. His charcoal-like instrument meeting the page with the swift strokes and conjuring shapes. “Here”, he said as he was done with the drawing. My brother collected it from him as he really liked it and admired the shape of his head, his hair and his other features. It seemed like the artist had tapped into something that I had not seen prior, a chance encounter to see yourself really through another’s eyes. You could guage how the world might see you but then your eyes shifted still as you saw the caricature which likesatire requires understanding of the issue at hand before it can distort and transform the image. “That’s 10 euros sir”, He said and brought us all out of our trance-like state. “I thought you said it was free?” Brother remarked, “It’s free to draw, but it costs to take away” He replied. Dad was enraged as this trip was meant for something else, but my step mother calmed him. He found notes corresponding to the request and took the drawing home that day with contempt for what felt like a scam artist’s doing. I closed his locker because he had no socks there, I still pondered on the caricature potrait. It seemed that what it gives, it takes away as well.

Honestly, my shirt was not sitting well on my body and the side view made it worse as it accentuated my less than glamorous side.

Picture by Mahesh Nambiar. His blog is here:

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