Hay

Chewing with my blunt dentures
Gnawing at the first round
Looking down my spotted features
Feeling safe with the farmer’s hound
My cycle is why I’m here
For the second coming of hay I wait
The sun shines bright but fair
Night comes when they close the gate
I like when they check on us weekly
Purpose is a wondrous thing
It makes me feel loved and lovely
They said they found in me something
Was out in the quarantine zone
Waiting for the end to come
I wonder whether I will be stripped to the bone
Or if my final resting spot will be home

Letter to me No. 3

25 Northington Avenue,
Hampstead Road,
Lincoln, England,
29 March 2017

Dear Me,
Hello there, It’s been a month since I wrote you last. It’s disappointing to think that
forgot your fora little while but then again here I am At this point in time you (I) think the soundtrack of beauty and the Beast 2017 is amazing to listen toe specially Evermore and Days in the Sun.

This is a problem you may not have anymore but is one that I struggle with but currently more and more I don’t feel anything after seeing movies. the last movie that I really hated was Suicide Squad but since then I’ve felt indifferent toward Dr. Strange, Fantastic Beasts, Rogue One, Beauty and the Beast and Power Rangers. They were probably entertaining to watch bet they made me feel hollow inside. One reason for this is something I call Retcon Jesus which is when a plot hole is replaced with some thing that is unfeeling and soulless and sucks the awe out of these movies. A move apt description would be that the movies had me face-palming like when someone makes a move even after their pawns cancelled each other out. These felt like necessary bridge movies to either set up a franchise, push it forward or just moved to recreate a better movie beat. Iron fist left me dead inside, marvel disappointed me by chucking a character I love into so much crap that you can barely make out his dragon emblem burned into his chest. (It annoyed the ever loving fuck out of me)

I regret that this ended up being a talk about movies I did not like.I loved Logan, Iron Man 3 (Netflix release), Arrival and Storks which you may still like or even own-I didn’t hate most of the movies in fact, they Just felt like vehicle cases (little Public law humour) rather than entities to themselves.

I guess you are an indie movie fan as a result of all the disappointment.

Yours sincerely,
John Broadgait
 ΓΙαννηç

Fat

I’m fat and I guess I’m ok with it
Summer’s coming ain’t done nothing to change it
To feel better and to feel strong
Uni is evil that’s my swan song
It’s true and its uneven from the camera in my eye
I’m tired of taking picture while others get to smile
Said I wouldn’t swim until I had pecs
So I haven’t swam for three years
It feels redundant me trying to be better
When I could be rich and hire a personal trainer
To live strong and eat lean
Last time I was hungry I ate a bean
Must have been magic because I got big quick
And on a lighter note I don’t feel weak
I lie to my self about solving it all though
Last time I saw a gym was in a porno

Lack

Big blue eyes I never had when I looked at me
Tired me perpetually wished those shoes were free
Of all of my regrets of not picking a home
I wish I was cuddly so at least I won’t be alone
Shades of wondrous light break through curtains
The trees begin to grow again in this season
And for all the toxic winter death, there’s a spring beginning
For all the cold sad lonely nights there is a heat now brewing
Sad brown eyes I always had when I looked, at three
Energy non- bursting but still present within me
I have less time so I’m happy with my home
I warmed up my blanket so now I’m not alone
If the sunny beauty doesn’t come through
Hold in your heart the dearest lovely thing, simple and true
The thing that makes you smile when you awaken in the morrow
The joy you find when you make today and don’t bear no sorrow.

Glow

I lit up the nicotine container
I saw the flames eat into the cigarette
Put the filter and my lips so much closer
Took in the air and exhaled my regret
Stood there as I looked at the donor beside me
When I saw them smoking, something lit up inside me
Asked if they had extra and they offered one
Came here for the glow but now I’m gone
Stepping where I had the past day
My throat was still dry from the inhaling
Stomach queasy from all the mixtures yesterday
It’s coarse when they run their course ending
Too much is never too little
I smoked like I would turn a ghost
Like the cloud would cover me, my face at most
The bitter had gotten to my tongue as I formed a spittle
Time goes fast when you’re throwing up
In the corner of a street you had wanted to visit
Like something vile, vulgar or explicit
You start to remember how much fun you had glowing up

Hat(e)

Paracetamol for the social conversations
Tired doesn’t quite capture it
Low hanging fruit leads to righteous conquered nations
Mire all around cant handle it
Placed my feet where I felt whole
First my right then my left soul
Wished the father could have come heal
My growing pains and my skin peel
Wasn’t who I thought I was
Fancied me a lying man
Hated who I was taught I was
Fighting ills and lying down
Couldn’t find Eden
Didn’t subscribe to that tale
Swore I couldn’t eat well
Was out at sea without a sail

Stage

My glasses clean, my heart and tongue also
Word up for the few who hear the words
One of the masses hit the quan so slow
Next up for the none who hear the absurd
Indifferent, still not a loser
I’m not holding on or grasping
Not clear how I’m a chooser
How my life is going depends on who’s asking
My feet connect to soil and my trouser splashed on
Duck the ducking stupid person who spoiled my day
Feelings are what my days are built on and I don’t feel the good ones
Ruminants they all are with their chambered stomachs eating up all the hay