Here’s My Pain.

I can’t surrender all of my suffering to another

But every once in a while I want to take a load off

I couldn’t reject any invitation to visit me until my mom died

I failed school horribly that year


I don’t know you such that I can’t tell you enough about me

But every now and then I open my mouth and speak

I’ve not dated in five years because I’m literally afraid of females

I’ve deluded myself into thinking I was dateable


I don’t ever want to troll anyone with my pen name

And I never will but this anonymity is a little therapeutic

I talk to less than 10 people every week and convince each of them I’m busy

When in fact I’d rather leave my life to pretend to be a friend for an hour


I can’t believe sometimes what it is I said in the past

But I hope I don’t leave future me directionless

I convinced myself I was slim for 10 years until I became over 200 pounds

And I starve myself daily as well

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