Tag Archives: changes

Deadly Race

I fell off of my high horse while with friends riding

It was fun at first till I rolled on the ground bruised and crying
I felt bad for me and wished the horse would kick my head
Or some worse case, anything for it to end

My sorrow was costly to them but painful to me
My hope like the grass flattened beneath their feet
The loss left a reminder soon to be a scar for free
But now covered by my hair whenever I see it

It’s there when I close my eyes, like it left me behind
It’s there in my father’s face when he can’t look
And when he does my name he calls like a crook
Thief of his money and of his peace of mind

Never had a person to share my heart with
Had no regrets when it was accelerated, my heart beat
Foolish me wishes I felt something
But if the horse kicked me I’d be done with no one crying or coughing

I fell riding in a race I can’t return to
Is it cowardice to figure where to run to
Or should my deadly race get a sequel
Either way it wont end well

Insecure Context

I found my words lacking, my face was not as expressive as I wished.

My delivery was dry, my hair flailing my confidence waning.

Of all the trials I’ve bested this was a new strange.

An anomaly on the elevated life stage.

You see there was a beautiful female who I’d begun talking with.

Her countenance was shy so I didn’t need to be guarded instead.

I stayed as long as I could and was utterly captivated.

I was caught up in our talks when I remembered.

They came pouring like a stream:

All my flaws all at once
I was short and pudgy
I was not conventionally funny
I was an addict once

I had failed at almost everything I tried
She was successful and was probably tired
Of seeing flailing corpses be charming
Sometimes when its cold my features can look more alarming

I walked like I kicked a stone every step
I run like a vat of jello on the highway
I don’t eat a lot so my body conserves
I then over eat and add to my fatty reserves

I hide affection for people because it seems weird to be honest
I only care about my family
I have few friends to speak of when I’m honest
I get honest without alcohol inside of me

They came pouring and the situation changed
Because I could not now have a talk with her
I’d have to leave as soon as she had left I bailed
I’d rather forget my face at a bar

Stale

I connect when I’m supposed to
It keeps failing all of it
I find time to do what I wanted too
It needs time and a lot of it

I think I may be feeling things
It’s wrong most every time
I find myself believing scenes
It fights with my logic rhyme

I like a female at least I think I do
It’s not a thing I see in my future
No long term I may leave in 10 months still have no clue
But she’s a friend to me and I think it’s mutual

She knows people I know but way longer
I’m the least likely on the line up
Also I can’t be involved with a colleague it’s not proper
I can’t take risks with no surety so ill just shut up

Craving

She wore a knife atop her wrist

Broken hearts as me she kissed

Many a moment passed and here we were at last

My heads were by my side so stunned, aghast

 

She had her hands under my chin

Beating hearts as me she killed

No hidden body and my eyes open wide

I’d died with a kiss and a boner i couldn’t hide

 

What love was lost when none was had?

My body lifeless, bloated on the ground

I wish I never went to that stupid place

But He said I might never again get this grace

 

I dreamed what I didn’t know you shared

Every night of my lover running scared

I was scared I would lose you by saying something stupid

The only other who broke more hearts was cupid

May Never

May change my perspective to have a positive outlook

I haven’t tried it yet so it feels dirty

Like I listen and i talk but won’t write in my book

It seems hard to say yes so maybe

 

I tried the cold turkey changes became even more of an addict

I tried the not do anything but I still remained unhappy

What dreams I had, what tears I shed

All less than glimmers in my head

 

Why did all of them die young, precious

And death so horrible

Why did none of them with a smile like they were gracious

For the life they’d led and what was possible

 

Possibility seems a privilege the living get to waste

While the dead have no life left to taste

Of all the peace and hope and living we do

They don’t get a may never, they never do

A hill to die on

I woke up one bright early day
looking for a hill to die on
I saw a tweet about rocketman Yay
That is a journey worth trying

I picked up my clothes and folded them
Put them all in a bag neatly
I put on my glasses to look at the realm
And was off on the journey swiftly

I happened upon a bridge made wholly of wood
With three trolls standing smack in the middle
Who said they’d let me pass if I answered the riddle
What’s jolly and oaky and sounds like it’s good

The answer was clear it was Hollywood
The trolls departed sprinkling a fag or two on me as I passed
The horrid smell of cigarettes quickly passed
And soon there were sounds in the woods

I could hear roars and cheers and critters and twitters
Walked toward the roars to find a thorny hydra named Dragon
It said I had to find out which head housed liquid delusion
I waved my fingers and pointed at the third of its members

The head approached and came forward out of itself
It was a beautiful shell like they had promised
I left with one assurance not to be alone with its ideas by myself
Also to deflect whenever it asked what I’d promised

I started up the hill as the shell was on a satchel behind me
I could see the hill on the horizon
I could see a new Sun rising
A few more steps I thought and then I’m free

I saw other hills as I passed toward my goal
The shell tried to talk me out of my dreams
I passed The social justice, the white nationalist and blurry extremes
Could now see without my glasses, I was whole

I looked down and saw I was in the valley of the right politics
Where everything I beleived was backed by data
Even my wondering thoughts were sound beyond critiques
And in fact the critics were haters

I got to my hill to see others had cropped on it
It was someone’s attempt to solve a problem but they cared little
Well I was done caring about what people thought of it
So I lay my bed and slept till my eyes were only open a little

Nothing left

Man was aiming at a target 20% off
Time was ticking like a racket taking my aim off
My bow drawing Frank quietly
Till there’s nothing left for free

Time waits for no man
But I saw him picking up my honey
Signs make no noise fam
I guess an exception there is honkey

Sameness was the strangest of all
They’re all different but the sameness was tall
They’re alike like a double tap on instagram
Same inside and their hearts ain’t even red like ham

Since I’ve been sinking on the stableĀ  grounds
U can figure out
Since I’ve been thinking about the stable maths
You can’t figure out

My tongue Sharp like a tiger
Man’s killer words are like fire
Man’s poisonous call me viper
Man’s dangerous my main’s Delilah

I speak the truth to power
Man’s weak don’t watch power
They added 50 cent to my bill
Man won’t watch power still

Been killing it on radio man can’t handle my river flow
She said my cup runneth over they should change my name to overflow
Been cutting up the pieces man can’t taste reeses pieces
ET can’t call home and man can’t walk home with no issues

Could have tied me to Russia at least give me visa
Man’s still from Africa where you pay extra for visa
Time is ticking am I Russian can’t stay in here no more
Fine pickings without Russia there’s Australia and New York

Man drop fire when I feel like it reason why they don’t know
Paper catch fire put my own to it even Theresa don’t know
Same dad lines led to lame sad fines when the drug war started
Bane of lies driving Lord’s of flies like piggy just farted