Tag Archives: dreams

Bamboo Chair

I think of her often and the times we shared
All the times we would get angry and be separately red
Her singing while flipping our morning eggs

When she was absent to come home safe for her i would beg

Late I was again, she was asleep in our rocking chair
Back and forth by herself and I hoped she knew I care
I tap her shoulder to help relocate her to some better stead

She does not respond so i lift her and gently rest her head

I seldom felt lucky but I felt privileged to be with her
Lying flat on the bed as she rolled by herself all over
Hair like flower petals when the sun comes out

I kiss her head and add a pillow and closed her yawning mouth

Comfortably resting in the bamboo chair on the veranda
I covered myself with a blanket and hoped insomnia would let me go far
Sleep was no more peaceful as i found myself rocking in the turbulent sea

But i heard her voice as she spoke and I could feel her warmth and her warmth I could see

I say good morning to an echoing empty room
Tears well up like I am reacting to a deadly fume
It is real life and she is not there
It was the wind that was rocking the bamboo chair

Insecure Context

I found my words lacking, my face was not as expressive as I wished.

My delivery was dry, my hair flailing my confidence waning.

Of all the trials I’ve bested this was a new strange.

An anomaly on the elevated life stage.

You see there was a beautiful female who I’d begun talking with.

Her countenance was shy so I didn’t need to be guarded instead.

I stayed as long as I could and was utterly captivated.

I was caught up in our talks when I remembered.

They came pouring like a stream:

All my flaws all at once
I was short and pudgy
I was not conventionally funny
I was an addict once

I had failed at almost everything I tried
She was successful and was probably tired
Of seeing flailing corpses be charming
Sometimes when its cold my features can look more alarming

I walked like I kicked a stone every step
I run like a vat of jello on the highway
I don’t eat a lot so my body conserves
I then over eat and add to my fatty reserves

I hide affection for people because it seems weird to be honest
I only care about my family
I have few friends to speak of when I’m honest
I get honest without alcohol inside of me

They came pouring and the situation changed
Because I could not now have a talk with her
I’d have to leave as soon as she had left I bailed
I’d rather forget my face at a bar

Weeds

Powder on my face to make me new

The grass was greener far as I knew

Tortured past and bright future guarantee

Worn still, clock ticking on my warranty

 

Secured was what I always thought my years were

Looking forward there was hope, longing

My mind focused on what I could do there

Hoping was easy as I sleep, my eyes closing

 

Nature hates me and life’s unfair

Looking back there was little hope and nothing

Pipe dreams and lies to self with no care

I’m a ghost man hollow dead man walking

 

I see myself looking back but there’s a stranger

He has a beard, scraggly all over his face

He is well fed but he still has hunger

Not me, he says don’t go to space

 

I wake up normal with no powder

I think the grass can be pruned this time

Leap into the uncertain and loiter no longer

I’m no less stuck than a mime

 

 

Stale

I connect when I’m supposed to
It keeps failing all of it
I find time to do what I wanted too
It needs time and a lot of it

I think I may be feeling things
It’s wrong most every time
I find myself believing scenes
It fights with my logic rhyme

I like a female at least I think I do
It’s not a thing I see in my future
No long term I may leave in 10 months still have no clue
But she’s a friend to me and I think it’s mutual

She knows people I know but way longer
I’m the least likely on the line up
Also I can’t be involved with a colleague it’s not proper
I can’t take risks with no surety so ill just shut up

Craving

She wore a knife atop her wrist

Broken hearts as me she kissed

Many a moment passed and here we were at last

My heads were by my side so stunned, aghast

 

She had her hands under my chin

Beating hearts as me she killed

No hidden body and my eyes open wide

I’d died with a kiss and a boner i couldn’t hide

 

What love was lost when none was had?

My body lifeless, bloated on the ground

I wish I never went to that stupid place

But He said I might never again get this grace

 

I dreamed what I didn’t know you shared

Every night of my lover running scared

I was scared I would lose you by saying something stupid

The only other who broke more hearts was cupid

May Never

May change my perspective to have a positive outlook

I haven’t tried it yet so it feels dirty

Like I listen and i talk but won’t write in my book

It seems hard to say yes so maybe

 

I tried the cold turkey changes became even more of an addict

I tried the not do anything but I still remained unhappy

What dreams I had, what tears I shed

All less than glimmers in my head

 

Why did all of them die young, precious

And death so horrible

Why did none of them with a smile like they were gracious

For the life they’d led and what was possible

 

Possibility seems a privilege the living get to waste

While the dead have no life left to taste

Of all the peace and hope and living we do

They don’t get a may never, they never do

A hill to die on

I woke up one bright early day
looking for a hill to die on
I saw a tweet about rocketman Yay
That is a journey worth trying

I picked up my clothes and folded them
Put them all in a bag neatly
I put on my glasses to look at the realm
And was off on the journey swiftly

I happened upon a bridge made wholly of wood
With three trolls standing smack in the middle
Who said they’d let me pass if I answered the riddle
What’s jolly and oaky and sounds like it’s good

The answer was clear it was Hollywood
The trolls departed sprinkling a fag or two on me as I passed
The horrid smell of cigarettes quickly passed
And soon there were sounds in the woods

I could hear roars and cheers and critters and twitters
Walked toward the roars to find a thorny hydra named Dragon
It said I had to find out which head housed liquid delusion
I waved my fingers and pointed at the third of its members

The head approached and came forward out of itself
It was a beautiful shell like they had promised
I left with one assurance not to be alone with its ideas by myself
Also to deflect whenever it asked what I’d promised

I started up the hill as the shell was on a satchel behind me
I could see the hill on the horizon
I could see a new Sun rising
A few more steps I thought and then I’m free

I saw other hills as I passed toward my goal
The shell tried to talk me out of my dreams
I passed The social justice, the white nationalist and blurry extremes
Could now see without my glasses, I was whole

I looked down and saw I was in the valley of the right politics
Where everything I beleived was backed by data
Even my wondering thoughts were sound beyond critiques
And in fact the critics were haters

I got to my hill to see others had cropped on it
It was someone’s attempt to solve a problem but they cared little
Well I was done caring about what people thought of it
So I lay my bed and slept till my eyes were only open a little