Tag Archives: story

Lone bush

My hair was untamed and wild
My skin cracked, my lips mild
My face caked with muddy dirt

I am in no mood for words

Longer my beard grew till it looked as bushy as my head hair
I did not tend to myself or the field crops
Alive I am a little far from the jagged rocks

I see the sea but she ignores my stare

My clothes are torn and patched like my old school uniform
Colours are evolved now my green shorts brown from my bleeding
My injuries open sores with flies feasting

I lost weight in the first few months like I swallowed a tape worm

It’s been months since I felt my feet
I barely can muster energy for the dirt I eat
God will not let me die even as I have asked
Why grant wishes when peace evades me at last


I connect when I’m supposed to
It keeps failing all of it
I find time to do what I wanted too
It needs time and a lot of it

I think I may be feeling things
It’s wrong most every time
I find myself believing scenes
It fights with my logic rhyme

I like a female at least I think I do
It’s not a thing I see in my future
No long term I may leave in 10 months still have no clue
But she’s a friend to me and I think it’s mutual

She knows people I know but way longer
I’m the least likely on the line up
Also I can’t be involved with a colleague it’s not proper
I can’t take risks with no surety so ill just shut up


She wore a knife atop her wrist

Broken hearts as me she kissed

Many a moment passed and here we were at last

My heads were by my side so stunned, aghast


She had her hands under my chin

Beating hearts as me she killed

No hidden body and my eyes open wide

I’d died with a kiss and a boner i couldn’t hide


What love was lost when none was had?

My body lifeless, bloated on the ground

I wish I never went to that stupid place

But He said I might never again get this grace


I dreamed what I didn’t know you shared

Every night of my lover running scared

I was scared I would lose you by saying something stupid

The only other who broke more hearts was cupid


Walking on water was fine
Stepping on the moon was good
But there’s none to stay in line
There’s none to give food

The lofty is easier than the simple man
To project is not to empathise
You can save that man yes you can
But does it look good in the camera’s eyes

Warring factions in my new old land
Perilous stories that never end
My forefathers went through the rapids bend
To put their feet on cooler sand

Their struggle is not mine
Their suffering a foreign language
I read about it in a book online
It was interesting like a Facebook adage

Dance, little one Dance.

I heard of this dark continent in which early humans thrived

I told tales of the cities within which now seem contrived

Of forest floors and elephant grass that could hide your fears

Desert dunes filled with blood and tears


My time in the tropics left me all but done with rain

I had seen the world but from the side of a mountain

My head was hard to balance on the pedestal they’d given me

Walking straight on the narrow path was not done easily



Forests were amazingly flowing and shimmering in night

Resources in-house found would definitely cause no fight

Mines and ‘explorers’ popped up like meerkat Nants ingonyama

Safe to say they left before finding the reserves of cassava


Somethings are more apparent  when things are left unspoken

Light drizzles and corrugated iron sheet relationships remain unbroken

Ne’er a wise man was seen doing stupid things

Here was a nice man doing evil things

An episode for a show that’s over No. 1

*I know very little about script structure and running times and this was not word processed so i don’t know the number of pages it will fit on. I wrote it after i had finished watching how I met your mother and I didn’t bother to check when it will fit in the show’s timeline. I have no rights to these characters and just did this for fun.
The Brantheon
INT Mclaren’s EXT Day
Barney is seated away from the booth today, he is waiting impatiently for something nay someone to come in to the bar. He gets up as he sees TED enter the bar. He calls out to him and TED comes to sit across from Barney.
Hey Ted, how has your day been so far?
Well that’s all about to change. For today I will bestow on you the greatest gift from the Brantheon.
First off, who’s to say that my day’s been bad? It’s barely lunch. Second Brantheon means….
I’m glad you asked. In ancient Greece, when the Gods were all in loin cloth and the Godesses were in Bikini cloth there had been a party thrown to welcome a new god into the fold, one who had proved himself worthy. His name was BARNACLES—-
Hullo fellow gods and godesses, I am but a humble greek man and am pleased to be in the presence of such greatness. I will do my very best to please
ZEUS the elder god looked down from his sky throne to reveal a face similar to Marshall’s. He gestured that BARNACLES be brought up to his throne.
BARNACLES walked cautiously as he ascended the golden staircase to meet the elder god.
Your story isn’t going anywhere and I’ve got work
Ted…. come on…. Ok?
BARNACLES was met with the welcoming humiliation of being accepted into the pantheon:
he had to clean up after pegasus for a week
he helped atlas hold up the world for his yearly vacation
and other humiliating frat initiation rituals.
He felt that at last he would be welcome in the world of the gods, they did welcome him into mount olympus. His only request was that bro’s respect other bro’s, which some would say was an early version of article 3 of the bro code.
Time passed and—-
BARNACLES had picked a greek girl to have a demi-god with a year ahead of time as the elder god told him that he had to book the date ahead of time to avoid all the gods being absent from Mt Olympus.
On the day of the conception of the demi god, BARNACLES walked toward the home of the maiden. He knocks at the door to no response, when he opens the back door he finds ZEUS in her front door and HERMES in her back door. He walked back to Mt. Olympus to continue his godship but it was not till late that zeus and hermes returned. He had wanted to confront them when he noticed a fellow god in the corner tearing up, he goes over to console him and pats him on his back
sniffles I’m Okay… uh thanks Barnacles
You’re welcome, what was all that about?
I saw Zeus lie with the would-be mother of my child even after he promised me that no one would do such a thing. He even made me give him a date so that no such thing would happen–
He told me the same and yet he will have another demi-child
You as well, do you think there be others?
Perhaps, If there are we will find them and help them..
Thus the Brantheon was born to ensure that the gods never screwed over bro’s, to maintain the golden rule “Bro’s before ho’s”
Present day
Wow… Uh Barney that story was—
— A true story
No, it was ridiculous. I could have found better things to do in that same time. In fact, that’s how long it took me to make my first crappy chair
Ted, look at me. Do you want to spend the rest of your life pursuing meaningless hobbies or meaningless sex? Now I always pick sex cause it is less likely to kill you… directly
Hobbies, Barney all this sex you’ve had in the last few years. What has any of them done for you?
Oh, they did many things for me. High five!
When was the last time you connected with someone else?
Last night! Hey-oh!
You need to take this seriously man. Life isn’t waiting for us and it doesn’t stop for anyone …. ever but Barney chasing life instead of sitting under its shade is what will help you.
Ted,I hear you but you’re not hearing me…. See the point of the story was that we should help out our other bro’s for all our bro’s who helped us in anyway whatsoever.
Does this mean what I think it means?
BARNEY looks at him with his photograph taking smile and nods at TED. They both walk out to the front of Maclaren’s Bar where they see LILY and MARSHALL coming toward them.
Let’s hail a cab before they get here or you’re Indiana Jones
Before or after Shia
After Shia
Yooooou’re despicable
A cab stops by on the side of the street and TED and BARNEY get in leaving LILY and MARSHALL confused.
LILY’s evil kinder
INT Mclarens Bar EXT Evening
LILY orders a beer jug as soon as she gets in, MARSHALL comes in after her to sit in their regular booth. He squirms in the chair as if trying to find the right butt to balance consistency, LILY approaches the booth and sits across from him. She chugs the whole jar down as MARSHALL looks on in horror.
Was it that bad?
You saw what they did to us didn’t you?
I did. How was your day at school?
*Awkwardly How’s that new kid Sharon doing?
*Her eyes turn blood red as she says Sharon!!!
INT Classroom EXT Day
LILY gets up from her afternoon nap in time to wake the kids for the next half of the day. As her eyes open, she is shocked at what she finds
*Quietly Why didn’t you go nap nap Sharon?
*Sobbing Someone pulled my hair and woke me up
*Comforting her Don’t worry Ms. Aldrin will punish this bad bad person
LILY gets a napkin to wipe her face and proceeds to wake up all the members of the class.
The class had been boring that day, so LILY decided to play detective like the Mosby Brothers had done back in the day. She started light with the Hokey Pokey as she hoped all the shaking would leave a trace piece of evidence on the floor, this was unsuccessful. Then she made them work on future masterpieces of hand painting, the sticky oil paint could catch a hint or the water in the basin could leave larger objects floating. After these failed attempts, LILY had to stop the games and the activities as the day had come to a close.
The kids seemed to like the class with the lively Ms Aldrin today, all around running and looking at their work and showing approval at their pieces. Sharon was the last in class and LILY told her that she is so sorry to not have found the person who woke her up.
When Sharon left, LILY noticed her lunch box was still in the classroom and took it to give to her parents. She paced quickly down hallways till she met them in the Headmistress’ office.
Looks of unease were exchanged by the room members, all five of them giving each other some kind of signal. LILY establishes eye contact with the Headmistress across from her in the room with the two parents seated in front of the desk with a stenographer.
LILY tries to engage in a telepathic conversation with her headmistress
L: What are they doing here?
H: Why are you holding the kid’s lunch box?
L: They found a gun in robin’s glove box?
H: Haemoglobin and Waltzing Foxtrots?
LILY shakes her head ever so slightly in disgust, breaking the link as she speaks
Lily: What’s wrong here?
Headmistress: You remember Mr. and Mrs. Johnson?
Lily: I do, they’re Sharon’s parents. Huh.. Is Sharon in trouble?
Mr and Mrs. Johnson: Not in the slightest madam.. hrumph
Headmistress: Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Johnson for informing me of this, the school will take the appropriate action to make sure this doesn’t happen again
They take the lunchbox from LILY and walk off upset
The headmistress explains to lily that Sharon had reported to her parents of her teachers hatred of English food. The parents had then packed her a lunch box to shove in the face of her hate and she had seized the box fro Sharon as a result of that. Lily tries to reply to which the Headmistress says:
We appreciate your work her Ms. Aldrin and pending the conclusion of this PTA committee investigation, you are suspended.
— That’s why I’m upset Marshall, that little rat set me up.
We’ll need to exonerate you from that charge. How can they say you hate British food?
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Barking from the Doghouse

I welcome with a smile and nod
Lovely day, sky with no clouds
Watched coat removed from shoulders broad
As they sat down with crossed legs proud

Shushing around the home as the game comes on
The ball bouncing toward goal with anticipation
Shouting fills the room as the nil turns to one
Fills the room with aroma as diet loses gumption

Banging metals on breakable baked clay
Chatter flung around like a hot potato
Smiles appear on faces as others try to say
How good the food is as words get lost in the noise tornado

Sink side with soapy gloves washing
While pleas for me to stay abound throughout
I concede defeat with hung head and fallen hair
Question about what i will not try as i fail to pout

Lumps of clay being moulded as life begins anew
Rebirth and new creatures great and small
Alive and beautiful with bright lights not blue
I sit down as the empty room appears to break my fall

Coats are absent and room is dark and cold
Laughter comes from my TV set from a new channel
These happen more often as age makes me old
Mimes speak more often and wear less flannel

Teeth clean much later with their light brown glimmer
Push-ups arrive today as is often infrequent
Mirror changed or workout worked and i look slimmer
Again I answer a bell like once when I was a prefect