Tag Archives: timecapsule

Cocktail Party

Mr Lewis strained uncomfortably in his seat with both hands beneath view, his hands had been positioned as such for the last few minutes. He was interrupted by the host’s tinkering on the wine glass as he raised it up, he began a toast as to why they were there. The company they had struggled to build got a government contract to build a self powering rail system, a fact that was not lost on any members in the room, he continued especially Jaguar which was Lewis’ nickname. Jaguar made sure that the suited officials knew of the innovations they had made in that field and the patents they had filed tentatively, he noted and concluded Jaguar this is all for you, thanks for showing up man.


Applause filled the room and the increasingly uncomfortable jaguar asked that he be relieved and proceeded to put something in his trouser region. Jaguar left unceremoniously toward the washroom positioned in the far corners of the restaurant where they were dimly lit until they interacted with motion (like air plane lavatories and fridges). The group on the table looked at each other and murmured to themselves at the abrupt departure of the celebrant, the host assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. Soon as he was done assuaging the attendees his wife also took a leave toward the washrooms and dabbed her mouth with a napkin as she stood up and left the event. The host now squirmed as his security adviser whispered in his ears, he seemed to have a reflux every time the man spoke and had now turned a bright shade of fury. He asked the security adviser to go check out the situation and returned smiling to his audience. The expressions on his face seemed to disagree with his eyes, his skin, his hair and a gleaming spot of sweat forming on his crown.


The security adviser thought to himself what he would do upon confronting Jaguar, he had heard stories that the man was an immoral communist but he had never let himself believe it. He seemed like a good enough person, he seemingly reminded himself, a wife, two kids and capitalist dollars enough to build the restaurant they were currently having dinner in. His hair (jaguar’s) was silver like a fox of a golden age and he had always walked like an honest  man, his records were clean, he had never protested against the values of freedom and yet here he was. He found it hard to believe that his keen eyes that had helped stop many an enemy of the state had not registered this chameleon as a threat.
Yes, he said under his breath he made the money we are currently using to celebrate
Yes, he noted also, he had not shown any signs of being a sleeper agent of the Kremlin
No, he concluded, that does not give him the right to commit horrible infidelities with the wife of his partner and host.
Jaguar had been in the toilet stall for a while and he was getting ready to clean up, he was sure that any more time spent would raise suspicion of any discrepancies to the host or any of the party members. He had never seen so many people thank him before, validation felt good every once in a while but this felt distinctly like an orgy of circle jerks. He felt no more at home here than he did with his mother who had opened an orphanage so that she could be tax exempt and claim benefits for raising her children she didn’t want. He for the right price became an unfortunate orphan she had saved from becoming a crack addicted communist felon, his own mother waited until his adult life to inform him of the scheme in an attempt to secure a loan from him. He had always known that there was little truth in his life, his kindergarten teacher taught him as much and she gave him a special friend who would solve all his problems. Jaguar held Steve in his hand as he played with it, a rubik’s cube.


The door burst open and the security adviser shielded himself as he asked Jaguar to get decent and refrain from hiding his obscene and perverse crime that he had committed that day. Justice was to be served with a mighty helping of freedom and the american way. Jaguar put on his trouser as he was done cleaning up and held his cube in his hand, the wife of the host came in from the ladies’ and was surprised to see a gun pointed at her and shrieked! The security guard had seen the error of his ways and he knew he would have to take the brunt of the blame for the miscommunication that had happened earlier. He apologised to the wife of the host and Jaguar and promised that his letter of resignation and commendation for a replacement would be sent to the offices on Monday.

Letter to me – No. 1

25 Northing ton Avenue,

Hampstead Road

Lincoln, England

10th February 2017

Dear Future Me,
Hello there! If you’re reading thus, then we re still alive and probably less fact I don’t know how you feel about you I have acted in this times but l know how I feel about my past self.

I used to think I was dumb when I was younger and know that’s the easy way to look back at yourself. l look back to when I was when dad told me about how the number stood for perfection. I was in the 3rd grade and was dealing with my first prepubescent feelings in particular for this girl  Ada. She had this beautiful smile and had quite a butt for our collective ages, I thought she liked me as well. I never expressed these feelings, not even till today and we remained friends through the years.I feel bad that i never acted on my feelings when I was younger because it left me with regrets, so many regrets. I do however not know what the response would have been, I was a fat kid whose competition was a new light skinned student named Michael, He was better built than I was, probably was smarter, could kick a football better and was more around the females than I was. Crushes can help you be better.

I had met her again in my secondary school where she was a year a head of one as she had proceeded to secondary school before me. All the feelings rushed back as we became quick friends, she had Just transferred to the grade ahead of me in the same year that | had began. It was the kind of friendship based on familiarity in a sea of strangeness but it was not mutual. I had recently become pubescent and well, it got word. It wasn’t just in relation to her, I had to wear shorts to school as part of the uniform-stop every time l got a boner,I had to walk through the hall way to my class at the and of the hall while displaying the visible protrusion to the world.

I know this letter may seem demoralising, but If of made you laugh even a little then my work is done. I’ll send more your way as time passes.

Yours sincerely,
John Broadgait